The Story of Big Claw Wombat and Mad Goanna as told to Eddie
Look Eddie, I am going to tell you this story and you had better learn something.
This is the story of Big Claw Wombat and Mad Goanna.
There were two brothers, Big Claw Wombat and Roo. They lived in outback Yass. Roo and Big Claw Wombat were part of a close-knit pack with their Alpha Step-Outside – renowned for bashing people in the head - and the cunning Hunter, Tucker, who always found food – the other packs in the area called them the Bush Bashers. Out of the pack though, these two were exceptionally close, the brothers stuck together through everything.
Well one day Big Claw Wombat and Roo went to investigate Goanna Tree, growing deep in outback Yass. Years before Big Claw Wombat and Roo had trapped Goanna up a tree. After Roo tricked him up there, Big Claw Wombat dug a deep circle around the tree, trapping Goanna – who had been up to much mischief in the pack’s territory. With him trapped up it, this tree became Goanna’s Tree.
What Big Claw Wombat and Roo did not know though was that Mac and The Echidna had been at Goanna’s Tree for some time now. The Echidna was well known for his more than a little dangerous exterior and Mac was built like an eighteen-wheeler. The two, looking for allies, had heard of the mischief making of Goanna, The Echidna in particular had heard of the deep circle trapping Goanna in his tree, and they had searched out the Goanna Tree.
Big Claw Wombat and Roo too, headed out past Yass to Goanna’s Tree.
As I said, The Echidna and Mac had gone in search of Goanna’s Tree and when they found it they did a deal with Goanna. They would fill in a portion of the circle and start to feed Goanna until the bridge that The Echidna and Mac built was big enough to set Goanna free from his Tree, if, Goanna would join them.
Goanna of course agreed. Roo and Big Claw Wombat had trapped him up a fucking tree for decades now with nothing to do, and out past Yass, while stuck up a tree, he had not much too really see either. And – well – Goanna had gone completely mad, and was more than a little fixated on what Big Claw Wombat and Roo had done to him and would like nothing more than to get completely out of his Tree.
So, Big Claw Wombat and Roo got to that tree just as The Echidna and Mac filled in the last portion of a bridge big enough for Mad Goanna to cross the circle dug decades earlier.
At that very moment Goanna crossed the bridge - jumping with all his mad fury right into Mac. Steering Mac’s body, he rolled right over poor Roo who did not even see it coming. Splattered with Roo’s entrails The Echidna turned tightly into a ball to escape Mad Goanna who had leapt into Mac and rolled right over Roo and, Big Claw Wombat, covered in his brother’s blood, started digging.
Big Claw Wombat thought he could dig around Mad Goanna again, and then he would teach Mad Goanna a lesson, so he dug and dug. But Mad Goanna was steering Mac all over the countryside, from building to mountain to creek. Big Claw Wombat he kept on digging – chasing that Mad Goanna in Mac.
After a while, Big Claw Wombat’s pack-mates Step Outside and Tucker turned up. Tucker had tracked down the path of Big Claw Wombat and Roo, and Step Outside wanted to know what Big Claw Wombat was doing. The two stopped at the top of the hole that Big Claw Wombat was digging, looking into the darkness. Step Outside yelled “Where are you Big Claw Wombat, your pack-mates are looking for you?” But Big Claw Wombat ignored Step Outside and kept on digging and digging.
After a while, Step Outside and Tucker went back to their territory and Big Claw Wombat kept on digging – thinking with each movement of earth that he was closer to encircling the now long gone Mad Goanna in Mac.
So on dug Big Claw Wombat and he went deeper and deeper – still all the while thinking he was getting closer and closer to Mad Goanna in Mac. Occasionally, Tucker or Step Outside would come and yell down the hole, but they would get no response other than the shudder of the earth as Big Claw Wombat dug at it, so they would leave.
One day though, when Step Outside and Tucker both came to call at the mouth of the hole dug by Big Claw Wombat, they noticed that the earth no longer shuddered. The two followed the line of his excavation from the surface. The shifted dirt, the crooked trees and the diverted streams marked Big Claw Wombat’s path and they marched along it.
After several days walk Step Outside and Tucker came to the end of Big Claw Wombats excavations, and both could immediately see the problem, the line ended under a large tipped over red rock. The two then started digging, but it was too late. Big Claw Wombat had been crushed by the mountain whose foundations his mad digging had disturbed in his quest to encircle the long gone Mad Goanna in Mac.
So, Big Claw Wombat died, and Mad Goanna got away.
Not long after that a Pack of Pure turned up and massacred the rest of the Bush Bashers, forced to fight without Big Claw Wombat and Roo – but - that massacre is another story.
