Thursday, March 29, 2012

Poems forthcoming in The Delinquent and Burley

I have five pieces of writing coming out in April: three with The Delinquent, and two with Burley.

Below is a 3D printer, one day soon humans will be printing everything they want, it will be like Star Trek, but without food, and everything will need batteries.

This is not a microwave

To quote New Scientist paraphrasing Canny:

"Once they have developed ink-jet cartridges that can handle all the polymers needed for casing and circuit printing, Canny predicts they could make, say, a remote control for a TV."

Here I was thinking humanity would be able to shoot 3D printers at Mars and have the printers make everything colonists require before the colonists even set a foot on the planet, I guess what is needed is more remote controls, and ducks.

Note the yellow duck

And shoes.

This shoe was designed by David Cronenberg

Because shoes of the future are here now.

Below are mock-ups of the first in two series of death robots I will be printing out. I have started stockpiling batteries courtesy of ex-housemates.

Mark 1 and 2 Death Robots, a stranger designed these

And Warren Ellis is worried about robots that will eat your greens, and rotted human flesh [Ellis has it wrong, these machines he is concerned with are anti-Zombie machines].

And here are acceptance words from The Delinquent:

Hi again Andrew,

Welcome back to delinquency, an independent state of mind. There is no National Anthem.

A bijou (and precarious) residence on the edge of sanity, sure, but the visions are inspired and, on a clear day, local legend has it that glory may be apprehended.

In a magical land, where the one-eyed man is king, and interest rates are always high, an epic adventure is about to begin

[There follows a montage of writers playing ping-pong, and sweeping across a desolate moor in slow motion, their hair wind-swept, hearts pounding, mouths mouthing /emotional entreaties, like a fleet of divas on the crest of a high note.]

In a crazy world, where stockbrokers rule, a rebellion is coming

   April 2012

[Presentation Ends]

[Main Feature Begins]

Okay, so I know we normally try to weave your acceptance details seamlessly into the body of our nonsense, but this time is an exception.
What you really want to know is that we’re very pleased to say we’ll be printing “Plod”, “Seven true sentences for Ernest” and “The Big Red One”  in issue 17 of the delinquent. Many thanks for your submissions.

The magazine will be out in April, we’ll let you know when. Hopefully things won’t be slowed down too much by releasing the mag simultaneously on kindle for the first time.

Thank you for your magnificent words, and for your inestimable contribution to this magazine.

all the best,

jason



Saturday, March 10, 2012

You are in the Can 8 to 18 March 2012

YouAreHere started with Mall Stories on 8 March, download your copy here then traverse the Canberra Centre while writers such as Josh Inmania, Pete Huet, me and Julian Fleetwood take you on a guided tour.

Bad!Slam!No!Biscuit! is this year a sanctioned YouAreHere event, whatever sanction means, I presume the organisers are less fearful of what we do than last year. But 14 March is the night for Bad!Slam!No!Biscuit! hosted by JACINTA, Andrew Galan (that’s me), the Score Adder and The Master of Conflict.

From 13 to 16 March The Tragic Troubadours will be taking poetry to Canberra’s bus interchange, we offer you words in the sun, rain and/or wind as you wait for your bus between 8am to 9am and 530pm to 630pm.

On 15 March there will be debate within Smiths Alternative Book[store/shop/front organisation]. You should be there for that, rebuttal should include arse-blocks from at least one Roller Derbyist but likely won’t, I get to debate, I never did this at school, I expect those on the other team did, they seem to know what they are doing and all reports are they seriously want to win, they probably went to good schools and had supportive parents who never said no.

I really want to check out Applespiel’s Morning Commercial Breakfast Radio Show in Tonic, Harvest and at Lonsdale Roasters so I will be going to their shows after completing mornings of The Tragic Troubadours in the bus interchange.

Finally for poetry we close the YouAreHere with Poetry is the Real Winner, curated by me.

P.S. I will also be performing a poetry set at Art Not Apart, so is Miranda Lello, come and listen to our poetry.


Thursday, March 01, 2012

BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! @ The Phoenix, 19:30 Hours Wednesday 14 March


BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! RETURNS ONE TIME ONLY FOR THE FIRST TIME TO THE SECOND WEDNESDAY OF THE MONTH!

FOR YOUAREHERE!

and that means we want your words in the Phoenix

AND YOU WILL BE THERE BECAUSE WE ARE THE ONLY SLAM THAT PROVIDES YOU WITH

two microphones, five judges, A MASTER OF CONFLICT, an audience, The Score Adder, two MCs, FIVE FIRST PRIZES, and the right to claim the title of

GREATEST SLAMMER OF ALL TIME AND SPACE

WHICH MEANS IF YOU WIN YOU CAN BE POSTERISED AS

TRANS-TIME UNIVERSE CLASS POETRY

and we’ll send you to Goulbourn
on foot
with a carrot
a carrot in flippers
and of course there is

beerslashciderslashwhiskeyslashbourbonslashshantiesslash
slashsomething else

that’s right, ‘cause we know it is all about the titles

and PRIZES

from Impact Comics, Mind Games, the Oxfam Shop (NO CHILDREN OR ANIMALS HARMED), Smiths Alternative Book[store/shop/front organisation]  and The Gorman House Markets.

and drinking

Now, not to get you too excited, but the silver lining of the clouds smashing the Can and Corinbank is that we also have all the prizes that Bad!Slam!No!Biscuit! was going to give away at Corin to give away to the First Prize Winner for Winning in the Can at the Phoenix!

To all potential five of the First Prize Winners for Winning!

YES WINNING!

So be at Bad!Slam!No!Biscuit! whether you think it’s a good idea or not, bring your judging, your words, your hands to clap with, your mouths to flap with, your original material, your two minutes, your no props, and join us to make BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! YES WE’RE GOING TO MAKE BAD!SLAM!NO!BISCUIT! and stamp it with a bird and tie it in twine and sell it as a zine.